Note to Dior – I know she said she loved it, but please put Jennifer Lawrence in dresses she can collect awards in without embarrassing herself, or you. However, on this one occasion everything worked out OK. Sure, you didn’t check she could ascend steps in it, but the results were so graceful, and she handled it so fantastically, that we love her even more.

And we got this image. True, this isn’t a real ad – it’s from Tumblr - but it could be and it should be. It is the most graceful trip-up EVER. And she did get the Oscar, so that was OK.

Nonie says – Jennifer, we love you. Dior, we forgive you. This time.

Thanks to Fashionista for pointing him out, via The Man Repeller. (It was a long and complicated route, but worth it.) This is where I’ll be going whenever I need to remind myself how some outfits, bravely chosen, can make you glad that people in cold climates need to wear clothes.

This year, the memo was No Boobs. They should be small to start with (no eating, lots of exercise, appropriate genetics), and covered up. Ideally to the collar bone. But good, boned strapless will do. This was the most restrained, flesh-free Golden Globes that Nonie remembers. The Globes used to be the happy, let it all hang out awards, but now they are just more of a checklist of what people won’t be wearing to the Oscars.

Look at them, Julianne Moore and Ann Hathaway and Naomi Watts in their custom designed Tom Ford, and Chanel, and Zac Posen.

Do you know what? It was so elegant and perfectly toned and styled that Nonie was at some points *whisper it* almost bored. She longed for a flash of old Cher, or Sharon Stone. She hankered for Joan Collins (a role, it’s true, increasingly taken by J-Lo. Thank you, J-Lo). She could have done with one off-message, come-as-you-are celebrity, with an off-message lumpy, normal body shape, dressed in something funny and entertaining that she chose herself, for the hell of it.

But it was not to be. Apart from Helena Bonham Carter, who did her usual mad lace Vivienne Westwood (I assume) thing, but Nonie has seen it so many times before that it’s become a bit of a uniform. Nonie is fussy these days. Nonie likes her eccentric celebrities to mix it up a little.

Funny and entertaining was left to Tina Fey and Amy Poeller. And they delivered. ‘Oh my gosh – that was HILARY CLINTON’S HUSBAND!’ just about summed up the tone of the night. (If you want some great pictures and quotes, try the Guardian, here.) Women rocked. They knew it. It was a good day to be a toned, Hollywood female in a floor-length column designer dress. (Which, just to be clear, is great, but will be even greater when a  woman, basically, can look as good as Harvey Weinstein, rather than feeling the need to look as good as his wife, Georgia Chapman. Harvey’s the one with Daniel Craig …)

One of the few people not to get the memo about boobs was Clare Danes. Or quite probably she got it, but she needed her boobs to be readily available for the FOUR WEEK (count ‘em) old baby she’s breastfeeding. She looked incredible, I’ll admit, but in a superhuman way. Only try this at home if you have a personal trainer, a top nutritionist, a nanny (presumably), Versace on tap and alien genes. It’s not normal, I’m telling you. At least she said this was the first time she’d been out of sweat pants.

Incredible in a way Nonie finds it easier to want to emulate was Jodie Foster, who got the Cecil B de Mille award from Robert Downey (or as we like to call him Robert Yummy) Jr. Impossible to imagine this woman is 50. She is one of those people who’s redefining what 50 is. And 50 is gay, if that’s how it works for you, and powerful,  strong, articulate, elegant (she got the memo about the boobs) moving, and as private as you can make it. When you’re that good (and I’ve been a Jodie fan ever since she was Tallulah in Bugsy Malone), you can afford not to have a fragrance or a reality TV show. Go Jodie.

You can also afford to be friends with Mel Gibson. Nonie admires her loyalty on that score, and her ability to stick two fingers up to public opinion. But Mel? Well, nobody’s perfect.

Anyway, Nonie’s favourite looks of the evening? (Ben Affleck won Best Film and Director for Argo, by the way. Other than that, Nonie was basically there for the frocks and updos.)

Anne Hathaway, for her gorgeous hair and face, and general loveliness. (see above)

Julianne Moore, for being able to call up Tom Ford and say ‘make me look gorgeous’ – and succeeding (also above).

Julianne Hough, Ryan Seacrest’s girlfriend, for wearing white and gold fluffy Monique Lhuillier in a way that somehow managed to look edgy and cool, not Disney and ew. See what she did there? She had fun with it. Definitely a win.

Katharine McPhee in Theyskens Theory. For going off-message on the memo about the boobs (not that Nonie requires acres of cleavage as a rule), but mostly for wearing a dress that reminded Nonie EXACTLY of her favourite black satin Daisy Doll evening dress, as designed by Mary Quant in the 1970s. If she’d gone blonder and worn it with black platforms, she would have been Daisy.

Jennifer Lawrence. For being Nonie’s favourite actress of the moment. For the little black belt on the Dior dress. The boobs on this one were bizarre, but she carried it off and she glowed. Oh yeah, and she also won. Deservedly. Woo.

Marilyn Cottillard, also in red Dior. On-trend colour, but otherwise off-centre dress. A bit different. Also looks quite comfy to walk around and sit down in. Loving it.

Adele. For being Adele. Loving the hair, the makeup and the neckline, as always. Loving the body shape. But not sure about the rest of the Burberry dress. Nonie has seen Adele look much gorgeouser than this. Is she saving it for the Oscars? Nonie isn’t sure.

And now the rest …

Not Jessica Chastain’s finest hour, nor Calvin Klein’s. Nonie knows she said she likes lumpy bodies, but she doesn’t like Hollywood bodies being made to look sad and droopy by weird, drapey necklines. No, Jessica, no.

Taylor Swift. The woman looks gorgeous, of course. Nonie is just cross with her for using Harry Styles for a bit of pre-Christmas publicity. That is what Nonie thinks happened, and little will persuade her otherwise. Nonie used to be a dyed-in-the-wool Taylor fan. Now she thinks she’s just a little bit … plastic. Nonie is sad about this. Loved the earrings, though.

Eva – listen love: Angelina did the leg thing last year. It’s over. Let it go.

And that’s all from the Golden Globes this year. Nonie awaits the Oscars and BAFTAs with bated breath, and has Fashion Police set to record on Virgin Large.

Pictures from Glamour and Zimbio. Click on a photo to get to their sites.

Just how gorgeous is this wedding dress? Jenny Packham is Kate Middleton’s go-to dress designer for gorgeous evening frocks, and the occasional daytime thing, too. There are lots and lots and LOTS of wedding dress designs for 2013. They’re on whimsicalwonderlandweddings.com, and Nonie is a happy girl, imagining herself and her friends in all of them. But this one is her favourite.

Great legs. Great pose. Great sunglasses. Great story.

Crown Prince Guillaume of Luxembourg married a local barmaid.

I’m joking.

He married Countess Stephanie de Lannoy from Belgium (obv.), who wore this totally amazing Elie Saab lace dress, which took over 3,000 hours to make. Quite nice from the front, but seriously mega from behind.

Honestly – she totally wins the ‘wooooo-dress-from-behind’ prize. Wow.

And look how happy they are. Aw. Bless. I love a happy wedding photo.

xxx

Coco Rocha was recently photographed for the cover of Elle Brazil. She has a brave policy of no nudity or partial nudity, and therefore her fans must have been surprised to see her posing like this:

Great picture. Possibly a bit too much information in the boob department. The thing is, she didn’t pose like that. And here’s what she said on her Tumblr yesterday to clear things up. Go Coco! Go Coco! (This is exactly what my new book, The Look, is all about.)

As a high fashion model I have long had a policy of no nudity or partial nudity in my photo shoots. For my recent Elle Brazil cover shoot I wore a body suit under a sheer dress which I now find was photoshopped out to give the impression of me showing much more skin than I was, or am comfortable with. This was specifically against my expressed verbal and written direction to the entire team that they not do so. I’m extremely disappointed that my wishes and contract was ignored. I strongly believe every model has a right to set rules for how she is portrayed and for me these rules were clearly circumvented.

- Coco Rocha

I read the story on Fashionista, which is where I get a lot of my fashion news. Their post included a comment from a model saying that it’s all right for Coco to have standards and principles, but other less successful models have to do what it takes while they’re starting out if they want to get anywhere.

Well, first of all – they don’t. It’s up to you how badly you want it, and what it’s worth, and how much of yourself you’re prepared to sacrifice. If every model took a stand, we might start to see women the way they want to be portrayed, and not the way editors think readers and advertisers might want to see them. The same applies to writers and journalists: sometimes, just say no. Let the job go.

And second – I agree that it’s very, very hard for the models at the bottom of the heap to do this, so it’s fabulous when the models at the top do it for them, and shout about it, and show that you can get where you want to be without losing what’s inside you.

Coco Rocha is the Mary Beard of modelling. (Mary is a professor of Classics at Cambridge, who has recently been all over the press defending her right not to wear makeup and have cute hair, just so she can tell us about the Romans on TV. We watched her last night. She was brilliant. Actually, I don’t like her hair, but I just adore how strong and feisty and self-confident and clever and interesting she is. I think she and Coco would hit it off brilliantly.)

Right now, the campaign against him is all over the internet, called Kony 2012 and run by Invisible Children – whom I mentioned in Threads, and who are still going. Watch the video if you can. See what committed young people can do.

This is what Wikipedia had to say on the subject:

Kony received a surge of attention in early March 2012 with the release of “Kony 2012“, a thirty minute documentary, was made by filmaker Jason Russell for the campaign group Invisible Children Inc. The film’s aim is to make Joseph Kony famous, since fame would justify the United States getting involved in Kony’s capture. Michael Geheren, blogger for The Huffington Post, commented: “The 27-minute video was posted on Vimeo and YouTube by Invisible Children and became a worldwide trending topic on the Internet.. Personally, I have never seen an outpour of support from people on my Facebook news feed like this.”^[21]

The Telegraph online mentioned the video, pointing out that it quickly received attention from celebrities.^[22]. Elizabeth Flock, writer for the Washington Post, offered more background on the LRA as well as Invisible Children in response to the documentary.^[23] Flock and The Toronto Star also mentioned that Invisible Children hoped to raise Kony’s notoriety enough to provoke an overnight postering on April 20.^[24][23]