Victoria Beckham, as we all know, is a) very thin, b) very thin, and c) suspiciously tanned. Oh, and d) married to David Beckham. Hah! Forgot that for a minute. She seems to spend most of her time on airplanes or emerging from restaurants, where presumably she ate a lettuce leaf.
It’s easy not to take her very seriously, but did you know she has her own fashion label? Not just the jeans and sunglasses, but she designs dresses for ladies with the sort of budget that Granny spends when we’re not looking. She shows them at Proper Fashion Weeks, along with Serious Designers and d’you know what? They’re really good.
Every time she does it, the fashion press says ‘Oh my God, you’d never believe it, but Victoria Beckham’s just designed a really good collection.’ Forgetting that’s what she did last time, and the time before.
She just does a few dresses each time, and they look OK on the models but the thing is, she then gets her friends to wear them to big occasions. J-Lo. Gwyneth Paltrow. People like that. And they look AMAZING. Absolutely fantastic. More deumure than you’d think, given the whole VB boobage scenario, but curvy, hot and lovely. And as far as I can tell, she does it by working really hard on everything from the fabric to the zips, by learning everything she possibly can from the fashion people she meets, and by really caring about what the end result looks like.
She makes it look positively easy to be a celebrity fashion designer, but it absolutely isn’t. Think Lindsay Lohan and Ungaro. Three words that are now fashion-speak for total catastrophe. Say Li-Lo to a serious fashionista and she will probably cry.
So now you know. If you want to be a totally successful fashion designer ……
marry a footballer.
No! I didn’t mean that. But next time you see Victoria’s teeny legs teetering on those super-high heels, just remember: if Christian Dior had lost half his bodyweight, used a tonne of St Tropez, had a sex change and married football royalty, he’d have been the Victoria Beckham of his day.