You saw it on E!. You read about it on style.com. You’ll catch up with it in Grazia. But for the definitive guide to who wore what well at the Golden Globes (and who was a complete disaster *coughs* Halle Berry *coughs*), here is Auntie Nonie’s guide to the best and worst.
My first thought was, Hmm, nice, but it makes her look a bit pregnant. But then I remembered. She is a bit pregnant. With her fiance. Who she met on the set of her new movie. For which she won the Golden Globe. Awwww. That makes this dress officially almost perfect. Pink and red – unusual. Rose – dangerous, but cute. We love.
She is Anne Hathaway. The Armani Prive dress is gorgeous. We could have done with a bit more hair and a teeny hint of jewellery. Hey – if you’re wearing a dress like this, you might as well go the extra mile. She looks so thin we want to take her home and feed her brownies. But we like.
Hailee is 14 – the same age Jenny was when she made her red carpet appearances. Jenny wore, let me remind you, the cherry tomato, the boa and the yellow trousersuit. Hailee gets to wear this nearly perfect Prabal Gurung dress. Interesting designer. Great outfit. Loving the hair. Jenny was so jealous she cried.
Hmm, let me see. What is it that January Jones wants us to notice here? Is it the slick 1940s hairdo? Is it the clutch? Nope – hasn’t got one. The necklace? Ditto. No … I’m really not getting it. Give me a clue, someone.
Oh, Justin. You can be arrogant and annoying. I totally don’t understand why Jenny has such a crush on you and I really don’t want to like your tux. But I do. You dress like a pro, dammit. You even look cute. Sigh.
It has net. It has sparkles. A LOT of sparkles. It is big, very big. It could make her look like the fairy on the top of the Christmas tree. But Olivia Wilde is having SO MUCH FUN in this Marchesa dress that we have to enjoy it too. And we do. Go Olivia. Keep smiling – it’s the best accessory. (The shoes don’t go, but you knew that, didn’t you?)
Angelina in Atelier Versace. Just because. I read an article last week assuring me she was definitely pregnant. With twins. If that’s true, her Spanx deserve an award of their own.
Kelly Osbourne – because we love her as a reinvented style queen, and we’ve been loving what she’s been doing with her dresses recently. We love Zac Posen too. But not this dress, and not on Kelly. *sighs and waits for Oscars*
Nearly there now …. Catherine Zeta-Jones gets the award for ‘Most beautiful emerald green dress of the evening’ – by Monique Lhuillier – combined with great hair and TO DIE FOR EARRINGS. (And fab-looking post-cancer husband. Go Michael! Loving you too.) She’s tried a few weird looks recently. Good to see her back at her chart-topping best.
And finally, as we promised, the Golden Globes Fashion Disaster Of The Evening. Halle, Halle … where did it all go so wrong? When you’re at your best – in Elie Saab – you RULE the red carpet. Then you go and pick Nina Ricci vintage and … I can hardly bear to watch.
That’s it folks. Tune in again for the Oscars. Auntie Nonie will be watching. But for now – she has spoken.
(Anyone worked out what the new colour for spring is? It rhymes with Sheen. Or Preen. Or Queen …)